How often do you feel that, no matter how much you do, you can never be good enough? Feelings of inferiority and failure always seem to linger around the majority of us, making us feel as though we are never the best and as though we must be the best at something. Sometimes, even when we're told we’re the best, it doesn’t feel like it. 

Indian culture is made up of a complicated web of cultural duties that are woven together with societal conventions and expectations from families. Most of us have felt the need to navigate a maze of both modern and traditional demands from an early age because we want to live up to the expectations of our families and society.

Understanding the Indian Context

India is a collectivistic society rather than an individualistic one. Achievement and success are frequently evaluated not for one's happiness but for how they affect other people and how society views them. People are a part of this community, and one person's accomplishments are celebrated as a group effort. But this collectivist way of thinking also makes people feel under pressure to live up to social norms and preserve family honour, which makes them put external approval ahead of their happiness. The constant quest for perfection increases the pressure to live up to social norms and family expectations and creates a never-ending cycle of striving for unachievable goals.

The previous generation's perspective has been profoundly impacted by the hardships of India's history. In a highly competitive economy, the need for financial security and social mobility is the reason for the emphasis on academic excellence and job stability. However this emphasis on following traditional routes frequently ignores personal interests and aptitudes, which results in the loss of special abilities and potential in the name of fulfilling social norms.

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The Impact of Pressure

The intricate structure of family expectations in India is a major mental health issue in addition to a cultural phenomenon. Numerous psychological problems, such as chronic stress, anxiety, depression, and identity conflicts, can result from the ongoing pressure to live up to family and societal expectations. 

In addition to negatively affecting people's immediate well-being, the persistent pressure to meet social norms and attain perfection also stifles people's capacity to learn about and understand who they are. People get disoriented and estranged from their own passions and goals as a result of this unrelenting quest for success based on approval from others. People may struggle with feelings of emptiness and bewilderment even after attaining the so-called success that is required by society's norms, realizing that true fulfilment lies outside the parameters of society's expectations and rather within themselves.

A storm of stress is brought on by the unrelenting pursuit of academic greatness, the desire for a prominent job, and the pressure from society to get married to the "right" person. Particularly young Indians experience constant anxiety since they worry about failing and disappointing their relatives later on. Their physical and mental health are both impacted by this ongoing state of anxiety, which shows itself as headaches, sleep disorders, and other stress-related illnesses.

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Breaking the Cycle

Establishing a dialogue-friendly environment is essential. encouraging children to talk about their concerns and ideas without worrying about being judged. Parents can establish healthy communication channels by cultivating trust and understanding through active listening and providing assistance. India being a collectivistic society is not a problem, in fact in its true essence, caring for others, and looking out for your neighbours is a good thing! The way it has been implemented is where the problem lies. 

We can’t change the past, but we can lay out and shape an understanding and supportive environment for the future. Success is enough, but only when it encompasses all aspects of our lives, including mental, physical, and social health.

If you want to talk to a mental health professional to gain a deeper understanding of breaking the cycle of perfection, get in touch with us at Heart It Out.