Only in recent years has the term "toxic positivity" gained traction in psychological and wellness circles as a pervasive force undermining authentic emotional experiences. Toxic positivity, at its core, is the excessive and ineffective generalization of a happy, optimistic state to all situations.

This toxic form of positivity stems from cultural and societal norms that regard positivity as an unquestionable virtue. Social media only adds a dangerous layer to this, as people upload photos and stories of success all the while setting an unwritten rule that others keep their negative feelings at a minimum, if not hidden altogether. A person may lose touch with their true emotions and forget to give an accurate evaluation of the situation as a result of this constant search for positivity.

Toxic positivity is harmful because it invalidates the entire range of human emotions. Fundamentally, emotions are markers of our needs and experiences. Emotions that are negative, like fear, anger, or sadness, are not only normal but also essential to psychological development. They can serve as catalysts for growth and change by drawing our attention to problems that need to be addressed. In short, painting with too broad of a brush of positive emotions often can lead to not addressing underlying issues or meaningful self-reflection.

Breaking free from the shackles of toxic positivity begins with acknowledging and accepting the legitimacy of all emotions. Acceptance is not one lying in the negative emotion or letting it dictate one's life story; acceptance is actually granting oneself the permission to feel the whole spectrum of feelings and express it in a healthy manner. It's about recognizing that experiencing a range of emotions is a sign of emotional complexity and depth, not weakness.

Cultivating a more balanced and authentic emotional life entails a number of key practices that work together to provide a framework for understanding and expressing our emotions in healthier ways. That all starts with self-awareness: a regular check-in with the self to understand what one truly feels. Tools like journaling, meditation, or therapy can be very important to uncover your emotional state and express it. This introspection is paired with the validation of both your feelings and those of others, approaching them without immediate judgment or a rush to "fix" things. Acknowledging that it's perfectly okay not to be okay, and recognizing the strength in vulnerability, are foundational to this process.

Building a support system that values authenticity is another critical step. This means surrounding yourself with people who understand human beings are filled with all sorts of feelings and giving empathy and support rather than positive dismissals. In addition, embracing emotional education—that is, learning about the functions and roles of various emotions—can simplify them and lessen the guilt or fear that are frequently connected to unpleasant emotions.

Last but not least, a balanced practice of optimism, where appreciation that life has its challenges and sometimes things may not go as one may want, but still being hopeful with an appreciation of life, gives a very balanced approach towards well-being. This helps to develop hope and optimism in relation to a situation without underemphasizing the reality of the suffering or struggle, and in the process cultivates a more genuine, emotionally resilient self.

Breaking free from toxic positivity does not mean rejecting positivity altogether, but rather advocating for a more nuanced understanding and expression of emotional life. It's all about clearing the space for authentic feelings, in which all feelings are given their due respect. This helps to develop resilience as the person gets an opportunity to learn how to navigate the labyrinths of their feelings without needing to mask or dismiss real feelings. Honouring authentic emotions paves the way for true wellbeing. It allows people to face and process their feelings, thus allowing them to gain understanding of themselves and adopt more healthy ways of coping. It is a radical act of self-care and authenticity to embrace the whole range of our emotional experiences in a world that frequently demands unwavering positivity. It is a journey towards not just surviving but thriving, with an emotional richness that colours the tapestry of human experience.

Emotions are a part of the way we express ourselves, if you've been having trouble understanding them, reach out to a mental health professional at Heart It Out who can guide you.