The thought-provoking anecdote of "MMatches are made in heaven”Singles like a treat to the ears,  but when navigating the complexities of real life, the journey can be really challenging and for some, the same anecdote bites like a venomous snake.

Reasons are many. Let us delve deep into some of them....

Generally, Arranged marriages are seen as the sole foundation on which families bond. A lot of young people still believe that the so-called desired one can be found in an arranged scenario. However, most of the times people who value the arranged marriage scenario end up with incompatible choices.

If choices go wrong it either leaves the person a — victim or survivor. Case of abuses, tortures, domestic violence, emotional stagnation, all adhere to the process of disrupting the mental stability.

Fortunately, the idea of modern arranged marriages has evolved with the emergence of various matchmaking websites and applications. During earlier generations of arranged marriage scenarios, for females, the search used to be for the one who stands true to — idealism, traditions, family values, religion, homemaker, kind, fairly beautiful, and so on. In respect to the males, however, females rarely had their share of voice. To her, the decision of the family acts as a blind faith. In the modern scenario, the laws regarding gender equality have gained momentum but still remain a fight-seeking progression.

Overall, what makes the concept of arranged marriage risky?

While the goal of human life is to embrace imperfections and seek recovery and revival, Here the arranged marriage scenario stands the opposite.  Perfection! Everything needs to be so very right, which can indeed lead to significant anxiety and stress for individuals involved.

In terms of arranged marriages, two strangers meet. They barely get time to know each other. The family sets their tune towards the so-called “happily ever after.” Like agreed and done. Of course, one can have their fair share of talks with the stranger before tying the knot; however, the fact is, it takes years to know someone for who they are.

The interplay of love, duty, and depression in the context  of arranged marriages can be intricate and multifaceted.

Understanding the dynamics is essential for addressing mental health issues in the context of arranged marriages and promoting healthier relationships.

Here are some key aspects to consider:

1. Love vs. Duty: In arranged marriages, individuals feel torn between their personal feelings of love and the sense of duty towards family and cultural expectations. This conflict can lead to emotional distress. The situation becomes even more complicated when the bride has unrealistic and exaggerated expectations about her husband, influenced by romantic films, while the groom envisions his bride as the ideal "Sapno ki Rani" (Queen of his dreams). When both of these expectations are not met, it can lead to heightened emotional pain.

Encouraging individuals to have a say in their marriage arrangements can help balance love and duty.

2. Expectations of Love: There is often an expectation that love will develop after marriage. Initial years pass with the hope that the situation will improve after childbirth👨‍👩‍👦 but eventually if this does not happen, individuals may feel disappointed or inadequate. The anxiety stemming from these expectations can affect mental health, leading to issues such as depression, low self-esteem, and relationship dissatisfaction.  Individuals may fear disappointing their families or themselves if the marriage does not live up to these expectations, leading to anxiety about the relationship's success.

Handling the challenge of love expectations requires open communication, mutual understanding, and patience. Having realistic views about love and relationships are very important. Empowerment through seeking support can lead to healthier relationships and improved mental health outcomes.

3. Cultural Pressures: The societal emphasis on fulfilling familial duties can create a sense of obligation that overshadows personal happiness. Individuals may prioritize their family's expectations over their own emotional needs, leading to internal conflict and mental health issues.  

Professional guidance by a marriage counsellor can help couples address cultural challenges in a constructive manner. With understanding and cooperation, couples in arranged marriages can create a harmonious and fulfilling relationship that respects both individuality and cultural heritage.

Photo by  taylor hernandez Team  on  Unsplash

4. Isolation and Loneliness:  Since arranged marriages often involve partners who may not know each other well, Individuals in arranged marriages may experience feelings of isolation, especially if they struggle to connect with their partner. This loneliness can contribute to depressive symptoms, as emotional support may be lacking. At times there are chances of extramarital affairs for want of emotional support.

 A positive support network can offer encouragement and reduce feelings of isolation. If feelings of isolation persist, consider speaking to a therapist or counsellor. Professional support can provide strategies to cope with loneliness and improve emotional well-being.

5. Communication Barriers: Effective communication is crucial for any relationship. In some cases of arranged marriages, partners may not have had the opportunity to build a strong foundation of communication before marriage, leading to misunderstandings and emotional distance.

Fostering an environment where both partners feel safe to express their thoughts, feelings, and concerns without fear of judgment. help. If communication barriers persist, consider seeking the help of a couples’ counsellor or therapist. 

Photo by  Hannah Busing Team  on  Unsplash

6. Role of Family: Family dynamics play a significant role in arranged marriages. Supportive families can help foster love and connection while controlling or un-supportive families can exacerbate feelings of depression and anxiety. Families often have idealised notions of what a perfect match should be, which can create immense pressure on both partners to meet these standards.

If conflicts arise, address them calmly and respectfully. Approach sensitive topics with care, focusing on constructive solutions rather than blame.

7. Long-term Implications: The unresolved tension between love and duty can have long-term implications for mental health, affecting not only the individuals involved but also their families and future generations. There is often a stigma surrounding mental health issues, particularly in cultures where arranged marriages are common. This stigma can prevent individuals from seeking help, leading to prolonged suffering.

Photo by  Sydney Sims Team  on  Unsplash

Showing empathy and support for each other’s mental health challenges is very important in these cases. Finding a counselor or therapist can provide individuals and couples with the tools they need to cope with mental health issues effectively.

Setting aside the contentious issue of whether arranged marriages fail or thrive, The narrative as stated by The German Philosopher, Friedrich Nietzsche who quotes about marriage is:

“When marrying ask yourself this question: Do you believe that you will be able to converse well with this person into your old age? Everything else in marriage is transitory.”