"Tumhe kabhi laga hai ki apna ghar ho, apna khana khud banao, apne paise khud kamao aur udao; sab kuchh apna banaya hua ho? Independence, you know what I mean?"

Konkona Sen Sharma, as Aisha Banerjee, eloquently voiced the wishes of the Indian youth in the movie Wake Up Sid. What was a fantasy for almost every teenager in the 90s, back when you could run away to a new city, find a new job, and get your own place? While it remained a dream for many, a lot of us managed to fulfil it.

We bought our studio apartments in the charming neighbourhoods, with the nosy old lady next door. We painted our walls pink like we always wanted but couldn't because our parents wouldn't let us. We furnished with the fuzziest mismatched pillows we could find, expecting every day to have our friends over.

What we didn't see coming was the solitude that was to come. I'm talking about the intriguing world of urban loneliness; that sense of isolation and alienation from your surroundings that you feel, despite living in a highly urban, and therefore populated, setting.

Echoes in the concrete jungle

You are surrounded by a sea of faces, yet you don't see the features themselves. There are hundreds of people around you and thousands of things going on, yet you feel like you're the last one remaining. It's like being in a crowded elevator, but you have no one to talk to.

It forms something of a paradox, where opportunities for social interaction surround you, yet you find yourself isolated.

It could be due to multiple factors, including but not limited to the tech boom, the high rates of turnover in metropolitan cities, and the fast pace of life in urban areas.

Photo by  Martin Dalsgaard Team  on  Unsplash

Turning solitude into self-discovery

As impossible as it seems, if you try, you can live in Alicia Keys' New York, the concrete jungle where dreams are made of. The Socialising tips you got as a freshman in college may not work, but there's always a new idea you can employ in every new situation.

You may not have a dorm guide anymore, but you can be your own guide. Solo city adventures become a lot better when you realise that you don't have to worry about anyone else's schedule anymore. Even something as simple as a morning chat with your local barista makes your days a little more bearable, and a lot more caffeinated. If all else fails, people-watching is always something to fall back on, from deriving fashion tips from the tall woman with bangs to imagining the life of the old man feeding pigeons at the park.

Photo by  Robert Bye Team  on  Unsplash

Through all of this, what you can rely on is the fact that everybody else is just as lonely as you are! This means that there are most There certainly are local meetups and clubs you can join, and volunteering and community work that you can get involved in.

Along with all these solutions, therapy is always something to consider. At Heart It Out, we have a great team of experts who can help you along this journey as you accomplish your dreams.

Understandably, the loneliness doesn't feel great, but this is where you shouldn't forget that the life you're living right now is what your younger self dreamed of.

Jaa Aisha jaa, jee le apni zindagi!