Being an empath in a world that doesn’t respect feelings as much as we do is a struggle! While, we as empaths, constantly are in sync with our feelings along with everyone else’s as well, it is quite a bit to carry alone. Reading the room is always a wonderful quality to have. However, excessively making sure the room is able to accommodate everyone’s feelings is a humongous task that empaths tend to take up, all by themselves.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s wonderful to be an empath. It means experiencing life in ways that others can’t really comprehend. We just “get” things and we have no qualms about ever not being comforting enough. We sympathize and empathize like it’s our second nature. We are the friends that are always there for everyone else. We are the friends that get the tea first because we are so sought after, due to our ability to make the other party feel better.

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It's fun to know the tea. It’s nice to be wanted in times of distressed. These are all things that we, as empaths, enjoy. What is definitely a hard pill for most of us to swallow (while, some of us haven’t really noticed the pill bottle yet), is the fact that – in all the time we spend comforting the people who need us, we pay less and less attention to our own issues. Our own problems build up in the background of it all, and eventually comes out in a twisted and complex way. The frustration felt when adversity and unresolved feelings pop up, without warning, is embarrassing for us. Suddenly, we have our own baggage, and often there’s nobody to help us with it. Now what do we do?

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It’s important or empaths to notice that they are individuals with feelings as colourful and large as anyone else’s. Your first priority should be taking the time to address your unpleasant feelings rather than pushing it down, to make space for someone or something else. However, these are all things that can be pointed out in theory. In real practice, navigating our own feelings first can be quite a nerve-wracking challenge.

Here are some ways that I definitely think could change the course of action taken, when an empath is trying to prioritize their feelings, over their normal practice of excessively being there for everyone else.

1. Boundaries can be reinforced: In conversations where another person seeks the empath or needs to be comforted by them, as they’ve probably needed, several times before – the empath can employ the use of a boundary. An example would be,

“Hi, I’m happy to hear from you. Right now, I can’t be there for you in the way that you’d like me to be since I am facing some of my own setbacks. When and if I can, I’ll get back to you.”

2. Having a supportive network of likeminded individuals/ empaths: The sense of community amongst empaths that share the same amount of respect towards feelings and understand them the same way that they would understand others – often makes the baggage that one empath has to carry lighter. Fostering a sense of community also helps us empaths feel like we are not alone.

3.  Self-care: Self-care in any format that makes the empath feel like they are relevant and important, to themselves, of course. It can be incredibly nourishing to take care of yourself and pamper yourself. This can help ground the individual as well. It is a good reminder that they are also human and have needs, feelings, and thoughts. Self-care can range from skin and body care, to journaling, to exercise, and even indulging in the creative arts such as – music, art, dancing, writing. Anything that makes your heart happy!

4. Practicing mindfulness: Being present in the moment and knowing their limitations and boundaries, as well as actively taking steps to respect them. Whether it’s through leaving a situation that you suspect can demand more of you than you can offer. Or it’s through vocalizing the presence of boundaries that you may have. Or it’s through discarding friends who only require you to be there for them and can not do the same for you. Practicing mindfulness, in this scenario, is a great way of telling yourself,

“I choose me.”

5. Seeking help if needed: Suddenly choosing yourself and choosing to improve your lifestyle can be difficult when being an empath excessively has been engrained for years together. Breaking out of these tendencies to be there for others before yourself can be extremely difficult, especially when people around you are not supportive. Seeking professional help with therapists and mental health professionals, while working alongside them, can really help. Heart It Out is a wonderful organization that does beautiful work with healing and mental health! You can find out more about them by clicking here.

All in all, being an empath is a wonderful virtue to have! However, it is also important to embrace the idea of being there for yourself, the way you would for your loved ones. It’s a journey, but you’ll surprise yourself – I just know it!

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