Grief is a natural response to loss - the inevitable component of life. It is an all-encompassing pain that manifests itself through various physical, emotional and behavioural signs. It can lead to great suffering and negatively impact a person's life. Loss and Grief can be regarded as the Cause and Consequence respectively, but grief can also lead to loss in some cases. For example- grief can make one lose their relationships due to impaired decision-making.

Some examples of losses that can cause grief include:

People grieve in different ways. There is no right and wrong way to grieve. Some cultures promote openly revealing one’s pain and misery by crying or talking to others. Others resort to silence due to the shame and stigma around the loss(especially in cases of suicide), cultivated by their culture and society. Thus, identifying grief and grieving people may be a challenge at times. Look out for some common signs and symptoms listed below.

Emotional and Physical Signs that You're Grieving

Emotional

Physical

Behavioural

If symptoms persist for more than 2 weeks, seek professional help immediately. Heart It Out has a great team of psychologists and psychiatrists who offer excellent mental health support. They also have first responders in cases of emergencies. Reach out to the team at Heart It Out.

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The Stages of Grief

Elizabeth Kubler Ross described 5 stages of grief in her book “On Death and Dying”. These stages help navigate the course of grief as it shifts through life. A person does not necessarily go through the stages in order and may experience multiple stages simultaneously. 

1. Denial: This stage is where the person refuses to accept that the loss has occurred. It involves avoiding conversations about the loss or the person. It is due to the shock and disbelief one feels which makes them turn away from the truth.

2. Anger: This stage is usually characterized by outbursts toward self or others(eg- doctors, God). There is a lot of blaming others or oneself for the loss. Anger is natural but in severe cases causes suffering to self and loved ones.

3. Bargaining: The stage where the questions of “what if” and “if only” arise. It is when the person tries to imagine if the loss can be reversed. They try to negotiate with God and other forces pleading for "extra time"  or "second chances".

4. Depression: This stage is characterized by intense mood swings, crying spells, isolation and disinterest in the usual pleasures of life. This is a state of reality sinking in - way too deeply to be able to accept it. 

5. Acceptance: The final stage described is when the person accepts the loss and tries to make peace with it. It does not necessarily involve “moving on” but living with the loss. The struggles slow down as one begins to view life through newer perspectives.

Support a Loved Ones Who Is Grieving

Grief is like a huge wave that washes over a person's life. And it continues to come in waves from time to time until the person makes peace with it. Finding support during this difficult phase is crucial to coping effectively and dealing with loss better. Different cultures and communities have their ways of grieving. Some people find solace in individually processing the loss whereas others seek community support. 

Coping Methods - Simple Steps to Dealing with Grief

1. Self Care: Prioritising oneself is crucial. Knowing that it is okay to neglect certain responsibilities in such difficult times can ease the guilt that accompanies grief. Normalising crying and not wanting to have conversations or answering uncomfortable questions is necessary to help process the loss. 

2. Social support: People with similar experiences, family and friends can offer support to de-escalate distress. Seeking community support via support groups or simply speaking to one another can benefit.  

3. Minimise Expectations of Self/Society: Knowing that it is okay to neglect certain responsibilities in such difficult times can ease the guilt that accompanies grief. Expecting to be "normal" like before in a certain period can cause more harm to the mind and body. Some societies urge the griever to move on, accept what has happened and state that everything will be normal once life continues as it did. Stay to healthier ways of healing like acknowledging the grief and addressing concerns.

4. Seek professional help: Mental health is equally important as physical health. Sometimes, we may not have the knowledge or skills to help ourselves or get help from the common people around us. A mental health professional can offer aid at such times. If symptoms persist for more than 2 weeks and impact daily life severely, contact a mental health professional. Heart It Out has a great team of psychologists and psychiatrists who offer excellent mental health support. They also have first responders in cases of emergencies. Reach out to the team at Heart It Out for support today.

Photo by  Mike Labrum Team  on  Unsplash