As innate social beings, our first response to any kind of inconvenience is running to our friends and loved ones. We view them as our guides, our light-posts, and the ones who will be brutally truthful to us. But, how do we maintain and preserve these special friendships after we have experienced trauma? We make an effort, that is what we do. However difficult or troubling our problem is, friends and loved ones can reduce it by a large amount.

Trauma can surface in many forms and it may make us isolate ourselves from our friends during difficult times when we need their support the most. As Phoebe Buffay once said, “Boyfriends and girlfriends will come and go, but this (friendship) is for life”. 

There a various ways in which one can build healthy connections with their friends after difficult experiences. The motive is to ignore all the negative thoughts and feelings about the trauma which may make you believe that your friends would not understand the problem. 

Oftentimes, we do not reach out to our friends because of our mental block and reservations regarding the issue. These are a few of how our trauma can surface as negative feelings :

There are multiple ways in which one can build healthy friendships after surviving a traumatic experience. Some of these are -

Getting out of your comfort zone! 

It is usually believed that we tend to be less conscious about our negative traits once we get out of our comfort zone which will make us feel alive and happy. Practicing this daily is crucial for mental and physical growth because it not only lets us divulge into new things but also opens up an entire platform for us to overcome our trauma. 

Have a self-care routine! 

The most effective way to get going is by investing time in your self-care routine. Having a morning or night routine will give you something to look forward to, however minuscular. Using different sheet masks and relaxing is also a fun and effective way to reduce your stress which may have formed from the traumatic experience. 

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Giving Dating Apps a try! 

Dating Apps are used for more than just relationships. Few applications provide the “BFF” (Best Friends Forever) option, where one can make an account only to socialize with new people. This is a great way for introverts to meet new people and broaden their friend circle. It also helps in improving your communication skills via text. 

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Favorite “blast from the past”

Catching up with some old friends and laughing over the same incidents that occurred long back, is also another fruitful way of building healthy connections. Meeting friends whom one may have lost contact with can help build the bridge again for new possibilities and experiences to look forward to. Friends from school or college have a different grasp on us, they know us like our parents and they understand our struggles. It is also beneficial to spark old flames and make the friendship even stronger. 

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Trying out new activities! 

If one doesn’t want to socialize but still feels that they should step out of their comfort zone, various activities help in such scenarios. For starters, there is an open theatre concept, where individuals can watch movies under the night sky with food and friends, this may make you validate your socializing needs. Another activity is playing games, which can range from indoor games like uno or Monopoly or outdoor games like badminton. 

Vocalising the trauma 

Vocalizing the traumatic incident can help one get some closure and can be one step closer to getting over the incident. It helps to speak to our loved ones and friends and also a licensed professional. A psychologist is someone who will hear the individual speak about their incident without any judgments and can make the individual feel safe and secure. 

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Building healthy connections after surviving a traumatic incident can be tough but when there are people are you, who love and care for you, speaking up about the incident and how it makes you feel can help in establishing a process where you can get over the traumatic incident. There are many resources and helplines available for those who want to seek out and speak to a trusted professional. 

Let’s connect! We are here to offer our time and resources to individuals who want to get started on improving their mental health! Click here to talk to a mental health professional today.