Weathering the Waves: Coping with Grief and Loss

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Weathering the Waves: Coping w...

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Naw Marilyn

March 18 , 2024

Grief is a universal human experience. It is a natural response to the loss of someone or something we deeply value in our lives. Loss can usually be in the form of death, separation, loss of job, or major transition in life; one can also grief when come down with a serious illness or accident. Grieving is in fact a complex individual process where different individuals may experience grief differently. It is important for us to understand that grieving is a normal and a necessary part of coping with any kind of loss.

The Ebb and Flow of Grief

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Grief can be described as waves- unpredictable and powerful and sometimes damaging. Just like waves in the ocean, grief has its ebb and flow, sometimes it hits us with great intensity or force and the other times it gently touches us. Grief and loss are indeed an inevitable human experience. The waves of grief can be really overwhelming, but with time and support from the loved ones and trusted ones it becomes possible to navigate through these waves. Each person copes with loss in their own way, thus taking their own time to grief and heal. It is important for us to honor and respect one’s own journey through the waves of grief. With time, patience and understanding, it becomes possible for us to find moments of peace and healing between the ever- changing tides of grief.

Stages of Grief

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As a grieving person, one may feel a range of emotions such sadness, longing, anxiety, anger, guilt, frustration, denial, and a sense of detachment or isolation from others, which are all normal expressions of grief. It is important to acknowledge these emotions and allow oneself to feel this without judgement or the fear of being judged. The stages of grief do not occur in linearity. People can experience these stages at different times.

Some common stages of grief are:

Denial- In this stage, individuals may struggle to accept what has actually happened. They may find it difficult to accept the reality of the loss, often retiring to a state of shock or numbness.
Anger- The feelings of anger may be driven towards others, the situation or the individual themselves. This projection of anger is an emotional response to the situation, upon denial.
Bargaining- In this stage, the individual may find themselves trying to negotiate with their emotions or a supreme power in an attempt to reverse the loss. This can further lead to feelings of guilt or regret.
Depression- This stage may involve immense sadness, a sense of emptiness, and withdrawal from others or, isolation. This is a period when individuals are at their most vulnerable stage. When this stage is prolonged, it may lead to further difficulties and individuals may resort to different ways of coping that may not be healthy such as use of drugs and alcohol and engaging in risky behaviors.
Acceptance- This final stage, does not necessarily mean that the individual is okay or happy about the loss, but rather it is accepting the fact that this has happened and finding a way to live with that fact.

Sometimes, the loss is so deep that people are hit with much intensity and their whole world seems crashing down without the person or the things we deeply care about. This is when seeking help or support becomes an essential part of weathering the waves of grief.

How Do I Seek Support?

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Seeking support and help professionally and personally is very important in order to cope with grief and loss.

Reaching out to family and friends or trusted ones is important. They can help you by providing emotional support and help you bear or carry the load you are feeling.
Seeking professional help or therapy can help individual understand or navigate their feelings. A mental health professional can provide a safe and supportive environment for the individual to explore and develop healthy coping strategies.
Joining support groups for grief can help the individual connect with others who are also going through a period of grief, giving them a sense of hope and realization that they are not alone in this.
Engaging in self- caring behavior can bring the individual comfort and relief. One can pursue their hobbies; sit back and relax while listening to music, reading books, blogs or articles that will help them overcome their grief.
One can also seek spiritual guidance if one is spiritual or religious. It may help the individual find solace by turning towards faith.
Expressive art therapies such as art therapy, music therapy, dance movement therapy and drama therapy can help individuals who find it difficult for verbal expression. Individuals can communicate or express their feelings through art, music, dance, movement or drama.

Grief and loss are part of our lives, and we cannot escape from it. One can lose themselves while grieving their loved ones. They may feel like they have lost their purpose or find it difficult to exist without their loved ones. Losing someone or something is painful and deeply overwhelming, but it is important to know and understand that you are not alone in this. Friends, family, counsellors or therapists, all are there to help you carry this heavy load of sadness off of you. It is not weak of you to ask for help, as a matter of fact you are using your voice to seek for help when you most need it and this, makes you brave and strong.

“ “You can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.””
- Jon Kabat- Zinn

If you ever feel like the weight of the world is crushing you, or finding it difficult to cope with unfavorable circumstances, or even just want someone to listen to you, you can reach out to "Heart It Out", a team of professional therapists who will help you and support you throughout the period of tribulations.

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