Oxford Dictionary defines social anxiety as “An extreme fear of humiliating or embarrassing oneself in social situations”.  Social anxiety, unfortunately, is a part and parcel of how an individual perceives his/her environment, and this fear is  so common especially amongst adolescents and young adults that it is the 3rd most common psychological disorder, with  approximately 5% to 10% of people having it, falling right behind substance use disorder and depression.

Social Anxiety has a variety of symptoms, ranging from physical symptoms like: 

It can also have psychological manifestations like:

Such symptoms, when come together, often pose a significant barrier to people being able to enjoy and participate whole-heartedly in social interactions. In extreme cases, they can even impact the quality of life an individual undergoes due to fear of talking to others

Photo by  Uday Mittal Team  on  Unsplash

Fortunately, with practicing certain healthy techniques to manage and cope effectively to deal with social anxiety or phobia, individuals facing social anxiety on a daily basis can limit the emotional and psychological stress that they undergo and can subsequently desensitize themselves to certain triggers in their environment. 

1. Understanding Social Anxiety

Before trying out any ways to control social anxiety, it is important to understand how it plays out in people. Social phobia involves an incessant fear of venturing outside and talking to people, and people facing social anxiety also have a constant fear of being criticised, viewed negatively which in turn lowers their self-esteem. Hence, when you happen to be around people who have social anxiety, just knowing what they go through and understanding that it is normal can help you help them better.

2. Challenging Negative Thought Processes

Social anxiety can often stem from an individual having negative or self-hating thoughts, which cause them to feel anxious while facing others. Encouraging individuals to challenge and introspect on what and why they are thinking in such a manner can help in identifying triggers and restructure thought processes. Certain cognitive-behavioural used in therapy techniques like cognitive restructuring can help individuals identify and reframe such irrational thoughts that contribute to social anxiety.

3. Practicing Relaxation Techniques

Practicing mindfulness and relaxation techniques when facing a social anxiety triggering event can help reduce the stress caused to the individual and also promote a sense of calm and reduce the intensity of physical symptoms caused by the anxiety. Relaxation can also act as a buffer towards preventing negative rumination or overthinking. Techniques like deep breathing, mindful meditation & progressive muscle and body relaxing etc can help aid in reducing the severity of physiological symptoms caused to the individual. It is important to live in the present than ruminate in the past/future.

Photo by  Lina Trochez Team  on  Unsplash

4. Setting Realistic Goals and Expectations

As much as every individual with social anxiety dreams of waking up and being able to speak like an orator or public speaker sadly such expectations can put an unrealistic expectation on the person, which can in turn cause further internal pressure to socialise better and lead to increased anxiety. Instead consider setting smaller but realistic goals to eliminate social anxiety step by step. It is important to yield smaller results and celebrate them to provide motivation to do more and better.

5. Create a Social Support System

Encourage and foster close relationships with family, peers and individuals around one to provide a safe social circle where you can feel heard, understood and supported. One’s intimate social circle provides an immense sense of strength and encouragement and can help ease the stress that comes with social anxiety.

6. Developing Social Skills

Another mechanism to deal with social anxiety can be preparing social skills before entering a social environment. Providing opportunities where individuals can learn and hone their communication skills alongside trying to control social anxiety, agoraphobia or phobias concerning social interaction. Conducting and attending workshops and sessions where such techniques can be learnt and practiced to reduce anxiety.

Photo by  Priscilla Du Preez ������������ Team  on  Unsplash

Social anxiety, while might seem as an overwhelming mental and emotional condition, with the establishment and practice of healthy coping mechanisms and strategies to reduce the triggers and stress the body and mind , can be effectively dealt with and not pose a threat to an individual’s social life. Essentially, all it takes is some patience, support and reassurance to overcome the barriers posed by social anxiety and enjoy meaningful connections with others. Do not forget to live in the present and cherish and love yourself :)

During times of extreme overwhelm, it's always best to contact a professional, and it is also advised to find community groups that can help you out. You can always reach out to Heart It Out to get the support you deserve!

“Although Anxiety is a part of life, never let it be your entire life” - Paulo Coelho